If
someone were to stop me in the street and ask me to tell them a story, I
wouldn’t have a clue where to start, but sit me in front of a computer and
leave me alone and the words just flow. Something inside me unlocks.
The journey of becoming a writer is different for
everyone. Some will know that they are destined to be writers from the
beginning and will follow that path until they get there somehow, while others,
like me, will stumble upon it quite by accident. There is no given track that a
person must follow, in order to get into writing, because what works for one
person may not necessarily work for the next. One commonality however, is sheer
hard work.
After many years of trying countless new things,
and hoping that one day I would stumble upon the one thing that would lead me
to a better future, a future that would finally make me happy, leaving me feeling
fulfilled, I finally found what I was looking for. I learned that I did have a
talent buried deep within me, something that was so well hidden away, I had no
idea I had it, until it burst to the surface. It was buried in a place even I
struggled to find. I just needed to find the key. That key came in the
strangest form, one which to this day, still leaves me wondering.
The key to unlocking everything that had lay
dormant inside me for so long was a few simple words in the end. I had a
conversation with my boss one day, when he passed the office, and I ran a
couple of ideas by him for changes I wanted to make to the office. We had our
conversation, which wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, and he finished by
saying, “I want everything in here, out, so I can use it.” Pointing at his
head.
At the time, I was focusing on my work and writing
couldn’t have been further from my mind, but his words struck a chord. I
thought no more about our conversation until a week later, when I borrowed my
daughter’s laptop and went to start writing, at the bottom of the garden. His
words echoed through me in a manner I wasn’t accustomed to. As they circled around
and around in my mind, I began to think about what might really be up there,
sitting around in my subconscious. As I stopped procrastinating and finally hit
the keys, an idea of a scene came to mind for the opening chapter to Hidden. These
words seemed to unlock something, and I was hit by a tidal wave of creativity,
which flowed out of me. It was almost like I had been given permission to
write. I recall saying aloud to myself, “he ought to be careful what he asks
for – You never know what you will find up there.”
I am more grateful to my boss for these words than
he will ever realise, because he unlocked a whole new future for me, without
realising. I felt as I sat in front of the keyboard, with the strongest urge to
start writing that at that very moment, I was in exactly the right place, at
exactly the right time. I was meant to be a writer. All the dials had lined up
and set me on a new course. This was the start of a brand new life for me and
everything else that followed would be a contribution to that cause. I just had
to survive the journey, oh, and learn to write.
You see, deciding to write for pleasure is one
thing, but wanting to become a full time writer is another, and turning it into
a reality, is quite a different ball game altogether. One of the problems I had
always had, as a child was that I was a daydreamer. I don’t declare myself to
be the smartest person on the planet, or anything particularly special, but I’m
certainly not unintelligent by any means either. I didn’t do myself any favours
however, when I allowed my creative brain to dominate, when I was a child.
The whole daydreaming thing has been a double edged
sword for me throughout my life. You see, in order to write, you have to have
great imagination, but having a great imagination tends to mean that you are at
its mercy, because it tends to do its own thing. This is something that I have
struggled with for years. I can recall many times, not only as a child, but as
an adult as well, where my boss has asked me a question in the middle of a
meeting and I’ve had no idea how to answer it, because boredom had crept in and
taken over, leading me to drift off. To combat this, as an adult in a working
environment, I had to learn to switch it off altogether. That’s probably why so
much is bursting out of me now. I can’t even tell you where I go. It’s not like
I even go off to some exotic place. When I’m back to concentrating, the
daydream is instantly forgotten, like a real dream, but I have a feeling that
none of it is really lost, because when I hit my keyboard, all manner of untold
words stream across my page. A similar thing happens when I write. I have no
idea where I go to do it, but I have to admit that it’s my favourite place. If
someone were to stop me in the street and ask me to tell them a story, I
wouldn’t have a clue where to start, but sit me in front of a computer and leave
me alone and the words just flow. Something inside me unlocks.
When I first discovered I could do this, I felt a
bit like Spiderman. I wanted to wear my new toy out. I wanted to see where the
boundaries lay. To date, I still haven’t found them. Who knows what is
possible? I keep trying new aspects of writing and so far, I’ve been able to do
them, without any of it posing a challenge. I’ve always written from a business
sense, so letters, emails, memos and all associated with formal and informal
writing, has always been a natural thing for me, because it’s what I’ve always
done to earn my bread and butter. Even in recent years, I’ve had to start
writing reports for management and these have taken many forms. Lots of
research has been done, in order to write the report in the first place, but I
don’t love this. I merely do it because it is part of a process.
Recently, I found that I had to teach myself marketing.
This has been a steep learning curve for me, because I’ve never been exposed to
this kind of writing before. I mainly use blogging as a tool. By varying the
length of the blog, I can pitch whatever it is that I am trying to convey to my
followers, in a manner that is suitable to what I am promoting. I find it
intriguing and feel that I have far from mastered this form yet, but I’m
enjoying finding out how it works and love practicing new techniques. Blogs
like this one feel more like a diary to me. They’re not a diary or journal,
they are a means of telling you a little about Serina Hartwell and where she
came from. I never anticipated these being as enjoyable as they have been. I
thought that writing about myself would be the most boring thing in the world
and might put people to sleep, but I’ve found that people have enjoyed these
blogs the most. It surprising to me, because I consider myself ordinary and of
no particular interest. It does act as a huge compliment when I receive
positive feedback. One that I appreciate much more than I could ever convey.
My real love is writing from a creative stand point
and by that, I mean both writing novels and poetry. I remember sitting in class
in middle school and studying poetry. I recall looking around the class and
watching my classmates struggle to write it, while I couldn’t wait to get on
with it. I was always reasonable at writing them, but never considered the form
before. The thing that appealed to me most was the challenge of writing a
story, or conveying a set of emotions without using more than a handful of
words. I always loved words and enjoyed finding out alternative words. Ironic
when you consider that my biggest downfall has always been learning new
languages. A gremlin that one day I hope to put to bed, but for now, one
challenge at a time please.
I remember a fleeting thought that I could write
poetry and then dismissing it as something that other people did, who was I to
try? My mother’s voice interrupted, asking me how I would make any money at it.
I always considered writing books and poems to be something that I wasn’t
entitled to do. When I reflect upon this now, I think a lot of it was about my
situation. I wasn’t particularly academically minded at the time, although this
was something that I came to regret, because there was no reason why I couldn’t
have become an academic, if I had only tried harder, I just always felt it
wasn’t my place to think like that. I have to admit that it has taken an awful
lot of rebelling and growing up to realise that the old, outdated ideas of
others that surrounded me at the time, were merely holding me back. The view of
the non-risk takers won at the time. That coupled with the fact that I didn’t
put the effort in that I could have done, served as a self-fulfilling prophesy.
It has taken many years and Hindsight to realise this and appreciate it. Only
by taking a step back and doing lots of reflection, have I realised where I
went wrong all those years ago and been able to start putting things right.
Today when I sit down and start typing out a new
poem or chapter, I feel a sense of relief wash over me. A security in what I am
doing and a sure indicator that I am finally on the right path. It’s like the
rest of me has been waiting for the bit that can actually do the things that
will make a difference in my life, to catch up. Now I’ve finally unlocked it, I
can finally get on with the one thing I that I am supposed to be doing with my
life. The thing that I have ironically, been looking at from the start. Like a
new toy, I do intend to wear it out. I will always write, this is something
that I instinctively know and I can’t wait to see where it will take me. What
an adventure?
The next time you’re feeling negative about
yourself and your place in life, or someone is putting you down, draw upon the
inspiration I’m trying to share with you here. If you are good at something,
but don’t try then you are right, you are never going to become whatever it is
that you have found. You will not walk straight into a new profession or skill
set either, because no one is good at what they do in the beginning, but stay
realistic, keep hold of that idea and look at way that you can make it work.
Perfect your trade, learn your skills and become the best through practice and
hard work and never give up, even when times are hard. One final thing – Don’t
put it off until tomorrow. Get right to it and begin your journey today. You’ll
never look back.
Serina
Hartwell – Author of The Hidden Saga
Thank you for taking
the time out to read my blog. If you’ve enjoyed visiting my blog and want to
keep up to date with my latest posts, follow my websites and don’t forget to tell
a friend. Thank you for your support, it’s what keeps me writing.
Let me take
you on a journey…
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